The Imperfect Perfectness

We all have this idea of what family looks like in our heads. Everyone sitting down at the table for a delicious dinner together every night. Reading with your child for two hours every day. Sleeping eight hours a night. Regular date nights with our significant others. A tidy house. Craft projects with the kids. The list goes on and on.

Some days are how we imagine, but most aren’t. It’s a constant challenge to try to find the right balance between all of the different aspects of my life and to make sure the important people in my life always know how much I care, while at the same time trying to remember to take care of myself, and to find the right ways to create a life where my family can thrive. Sometimes it’s exhausting.

For me, I am finding that the solution is to try to forgive myself for the the small things that don’t go exactly as planned. You don’t have to lower your expectations and feel like a failure for having done that— just stop trying to live life by a pre-prescribed map that someone else (or maybe your younger self) made.

Your family life may not always look like you think it should look. That doesn’t mean that you have to give up on your vision, but maybe that you just need to adjust that image a little to be more realistic, more kind, more forgiving. To focus on the big picture and not sweat the small stuff. You might not manage to get a delicious and heathy dinner on the table at the same time every night - but maybe you can still share a sweet moment at breakfast, before bed at night, or driving to a soccer game or gymnastics meet. The house might not always be tidy - but it can certainly be a warm, inviting space that feels loved and lived in. I’m learning that sometimes a little bit of chaos is ok.

As a photographer, I am often capturing people at their best. Beautiful couples on their wedding day having the time of their lives. Families all snuggled together in their best clothes. Cute babies giggling. And I feel incredibly lucky to get to share in these wonderful moments. But often my favorite images are those that show a little more depth— a little girl crying as her mom comforts her after she scraped her knee, an emotional look between a couple as they think about his father that couldn’t make it to the wedding, a sweet hug between a brother and sister who haven’t seen each other in a long time.

Because life is not perfect— it’s many layered and complicated, and the true every day experience of if is what makes us human. So when we can, let’s stop striving for perfection and try to remind ourselves to enjoy the imperfect moments just a little bit more.

I’ve found I’m most often able to capture some of the “imperfect perfect” moments during the Real Life Portrait Sessions. In these I get to spend time at home with you and your family. We take our time, letting everyone get used to the camera, going about your day as you usually would, as I capture a little slice of your real lives. Whether it’s a family breakfast at the table, getting kids ready to go outside to play, doing yard work - whatever is on your schedule.

You can learn more about the Real Life Portrait Sessions here!